Standing In The Gap

I can vividly remember my childhood and the spiritual encounters I had often from as early as age 4. My home life was quite troublesome as my parents fought quite often but I knew there was more going on in my home. Something spiritual that I could not explain or even tell anyone. I remember waking up and feeling scared and going into my parents room and laying in between my father and mother. I looked towards the door and I saw an image of a man's body with the head of a ram. It passed the doorway and entered my bedroom where my baby brother laid in his crib. Immediately my baby brother cried and my mother woke up and went to him. I could not tell anyone because I could not explain what I saw. I also recall waking up to something stroking my legs and I would run to my dad and he would start praying. But the demonic presence would leave our home for a while and come every so often. My dad and mom taught me to pray and rebuke any demonic presence with the authority that we have in Christ and I did so. I grew stronger in faith and courage but I never understood why my father and mother did not use that same authority for their own lives. My dad had a seesaw relationship with Christ and substances abuse and I prayed over and over again that God would deliver him from alcohol. I knew even at a young age that the devil wanted to destroy our family. Satan was on a direct mission to destroy my mom and dad, my brother and I. The battle was on. For years we experienced the rage of alcohol and many times feared for our lives not knowing what would happened next. One night my dad came home drunk and walked in our bedroom and pulled out a gun and was talking nonsense. I started praying and rebuking in Jesus name and my brother tried to rationalize with my dad. He left the room and fell asleep outside our bedroom door. Another time my dad and mom were fighting, I can't remember what the issue was but I remember my mom shoving my brother and I into the bathroom and locking the door. I could not understand why until I heard my dad banging on the door and soon after he jabbed a butcher knife into the door straight though the other side. We crawled out of the bathroom window and was able to leave the building. We spent several weeks in a women's shelter. The ironic thing is that we lived above the church. Hell was in our home and we lived above the church. I remember praying Psalms 91 and declaring the power of God in my home. My dad came in and out of our lives until the age of 9 when he left and did not return. But the demonic presence did not leave. My mom soon after started hallucinating and acting in ways that I could not explain. For years after that my mother's mental health deteriorated to the point that she would have episodes of demonic manifestations. Both my brother and I could not explain what was happening but I knew that I satan had a stronghold on my mother and the battle to save my mother was more real than ever. I remember keeping it all a secret but one day my pastor approached me and he said, I know your mother is not doing well but we are praying. For the first time I did not feel alone. Someone knew my secret. Someone knew the turmoil in my home. Others were praying for my situation. We then moved to New York when I was 17 and my mother's situation took a turn for the worst. The church could not help, my family did not know what to do and I prayed with every fiber within me. It was the battle of all battles. There were nights I could not sleep because my mother would be speaking to herself in strange tongues and with various voices. I would spend the night praying and rebuking and declaring her freedom. Satan tried to discourage me and would make me feel like my prayers were in vain but I pressed on in prayer and fasting. One crazy afternoon my mother was on a rampage and she called both my brother and into her room and cornered us with a fire lit newspaper and was shouting that we were all going to die. I called on Jesus and with all my strength I was able to get my brother and I out of the apartment. I knew that I needed to do something more. I remember going to the welfare office and speaking to a caseworker and explaining the situation. Soon after Child Services arrived to our home, placed my brother in protective custody and gave me instruction on how to get a court order to place my mom in the hospital. I followed their instruction and with much guilt and pain I was able to get my mom hospitalized. I knew that she needed some kind of help. She was released 6 months later. I can declare that no weapon form against my family has been able to prosper. Satan shook our home, rattled our faith, destroyed my parents marriage but Satan's ultimate plan has not and will not come to pass. My dad passed at the age of 56 and the nurse at his side testified that he passed singing hymns to the Lord. My mother has been through hell and back but I can testified that God has been on her side and has delivered her from the gates of hell. Today, I look back and know, without a shadow of a doubt that God has always been with us and in the darkest moments He gave me the courage to stand in the gap for my family. When I married and started having my children I stood firm and casted every generational curse off of my family and I declared that satan would not have any part in my household and my children would walk in the ways of the Lord and God would be the Lord of our marriage, home, mind and heart. You have the same authority in Jesus. Satan can try to persuade you with fear and intimidation but the power of the blood of Jesus is real and available for you to use right now. Fight for your family like never before and know that your battle is not against flesh and blood but against demonic forces and you and I have the power in Jesus Christ to squash all the works of the enemy. Stand in the gap for your family today.

Homemade Vinegar and Citrus Cleaner- Living Out Proverbs 31

DURING THE STORMS…. 

Keeping my eyes stead fast on you. Though the waves reach my chin, my eyes see you. Thou I'm tossed to and fore and my body is engulfed, I look towards my anchor forever saving, it's YOU!. Gently reaching Your powerful hands, pulling me ever so swiftly onto calmer waters I stand. Yet I may look back and see where I've been and I quickly look forward realizing where I am. Here Walking on waters, hand in hand with my Master defying the storms; conquering hells plans. 

By SOLEMN

The Mother Load

THE MOTHER LOAD

The Lord lifts the burdens of those bent beneath their loads. The Lord loves the righteous. Psalms 146:8

To loved them with all my heart is what I do all day. I work; I clean, many times in dismay, to give them a reason to play. And every cent I earn, I give it all away, to make them a happy home, to be safe healthy and warm. Sometimes I pray and pray that it could be easier as they grow but as the days go by I see this is a lifetime call. 

Help me not to dismay as I give, to them my life away.  These precious treasures I bore, fill with your life, your dream, your call. May I see this load with your eyes, for you knew without much surprise, that I would be able to hold their little hands as they grow and be the mom they will need as they evovle. One day I will say it is done. All of me was exactly what then need. And with satisfied eyes I will see, they too walk by the hands faithfully, and answer to the call of humanity, “To you I entrust this new life, make them strong, make them bold, but keep them mine”.

Written by SJ SOLEMN

02/05/13

STOP

Stop my wondering mind.

Stop in pressures that draw me from outside.

Stop the chattering voices that war for space within.

Lost, lost in the grind of the going and coming.

Stop, stop long enough to miss your presence, that sweet presence that pauses the world from spinning.

Here and now, stop the motors of life so that I can hear your soothing voice, the voice that sweeps my anxieties away and frees my every care. 

Here and now, here and now all I want is you.  

Here and now Here and now all I need is you.

Stop my wondering heart that seeks a place to belong.

Stop the pressures to be everything to everyone. 

Stop the chattering voices that tug at my every step causing me to doubt everything you have said.

Lost, lost in the opinions of man’s yesses and no’s. 

Stop, stop long enough to feel that you in me is everything I need, your every breath flows within my being.

Here and now, stop the motors of life so that I can see your loving ways. The ways of incomparable peace, for that is what my heart longs.

Here and now, here and now all I want is you.

Here and now here and now all I need is you. 

Never to go back

Written By SOLEMN 01/28, 2013

I Live Outside

I Live Outside

In a quiet and dark space I pondered on your magnificent grace. For when you rescued me, we exchanged the faces of shame. You took upon yourself my sins and careless heart and handed me pure love and restored this sinful heart. No longer will I live locked inside my selfish world. For You have brought me outside as a billboard of your call. The call to all who live enchanted by their deeds, mesmerized by their needs, no one else could they see. Now that I live outside I can see all there is to do,  be gentle kind and true; have faith and compassion too. Build and not destroy those you've assigned to me. Revive, encourage and make whole with God's restoring Word.

Now that I live outside of the hole I once was in, I can call, "Hey you my friend! come out and live again. For this life that Christ has given is of freedom, adventure and true joy. No comparison can there be to a life that is now worth living. Oh, that you may live this life with me, for no longer do I need to hide from fear and shame, nor anxieties untamed. For this life I have been given was paid with the highest cost. He laid on that  mangled cross to give way to all once lost.  Oh, that you may listen to the call of all those living this miraculously journey written with a never ending finish. 

Written By SOLEMN
01/20/2013

Tendemos a olvidar que no somos de este mundo sino simple pasando por un camino inexplorado.

FUERA DE ESTE MUNDO

Este viaje sólo nos está llevando a nuestro verdadero destino. Donde la plenitud de Su gloria nos espera, atrayéndonos más cerca en cada paso.

No queremos ser distraído y desviado fuera de la ruta, por aquellos que han decidido seguir su propio camino distorsionado.

Hay muchas cosas que podrían desenfocar nuestra visión y pueden intentar desviar nuestra atención, pero si mantenemos nuestros ojos por encima de ellos, nuestros pasos dirigidos permanecerá en grueso.


Mantengamos nuestra mirada por encima de las distracciones y más allá de lo que está en el frente; presionando hacia adelante con vigor, con valentía y con fuerza.Ya que aunque este viaje aves es frustrante, doloroso y oscuro, al final de viaje veremos que la lucha no fue en vano.


Escrito para ti por SOLEMN